–Originally published on FWB21 March 20, 2011–
I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong. Let me rephrase that: I absolutely HATE having to admit when I’m wrong. Every ounce of my being fights it as I angrily look for any excuse that it’s the other person’s fault. Being in the wrong hurts my pride, and that’s quite a tender spot.
Well, today was one of those days. It started with a harsh comment from my dear husband that put me in a tiff for hours. I huffed and I puffed and I fumed to myself about all the reasons that it wasn’t my fault, and all the things I was right about, and all the ways he was the one who needed to change. I threw a real pity party for myself, right there while I was clearing the kitchen… and then while I was folding clothes… and then while I was nursing the baby. But the longer I fumed, the more the Spirit chastened me. Want to know what He said? It was something like this:
Why do you see the speck that is in your [husband]’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your [husband], ‘[Dear], let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your [husband]’s eye. Luke 6:41-42
Ouch. Talk about hurting my pride. When I stopped resisting and softened my heart to what the Spirit was saying, I had to admit that my dear Mick was speaking the truth, and I was… ahem… wrong.
Now does that mean that Mick was without fault in the matter? Not at all. There were things he could have done better–like being loving instead of harsh with his comment in the first place–but what I couldn’t see was that his wrong paled in comparison to my own. Once I humbly allowed the Spirit to remove the log sticking out of my own eye, I was able to see his speck for what it was–and I was able to easily forgive his slight trespass.
Log extraction is extremely painful, but it allows us to view those around us–including our spouses–with a proper perspective. Jesus’ words ring very clearly in my ears now, especially as I apply them to my marriage:
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you. Luke 6:37-38