Today’s #favoritething is the one book that’s had by far the biggest impact on our marriage.
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs is a thorough, biblically-based look at the differences between a husband’s and wife’s driving needs. When those needs go unmet, the Crazy Cycle happens–a series of negative reactions that intensify conflict. Dr. Eggerichs teaches couples how to get off the Crazy Cycle and move intentionally toward meeting each other’s deepest needs, and he points them to the One who can help them to do so regardless of what they’re getting in return.
It’s not a quick-fix book, but more of a way of understanding why we behave the way we do so we can more quickly resolve conflict when it arises. Because, let’s face it, we’re human–conflict will arise. But each time it does, we can move past the conflict into an energizing relationship–the way marriage was designed to be!
When I read this book, I remember wanting to scream, “Yes! That’s it! You understand! This is exactly what wives need from their husbands!” Since this book hit home with what I need, I was inclined to listen to the advice it gives about what my husband needs. (Mick later assured me that the content about husbands is just as on point.) And *gasp* it works. The idea of unconditional respect was new for me, but I’m convinced it’s something that should be taught more widely.
Mick and I have been using the practical information in this book as a guide for the past seven years. It’s every bit as relevant today as it was in 2010. I just wish we had found this book when we were newlyweds! If you’ve never read Love and Respect, I can’t imagine a better gift you could give your spouse than to get a copy and begin putting it into practice. I’m certain it will be a blessing for years to come.